Grade School Shenanigans

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My grade school years are more than 60 years in the past, but I still have pretty vivid memories of some of those experiences:

I must have misbehaved pretty badly, because a teacher once ordered me to go outside and bring back a stick for a spanking. The only thing I could find was a piece of tree branch about two inches thick, a literal club. When she saw it she laughed so hard she forgot about my punishment.

That experience is true, but it reminds me of a joke with the same set-up, but the little boy comes back and says, "I couldn't find a stick, but here's a rock you can throw at me."

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I was drawing some kind of outdoor scene, and my teacher asked me what those things in the sky were. I said "those are birds."
Birds?

She told me "those don't look like birds. Birds have feathers and eyes and feet...."

Yeah, like you can see those details 50 yards  away.

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I think it was the same teacher who challenged my  use of the phrase "ten grand" as in ten thousand dollars. She had never heard that term and said I must mean "ten grams." I think she needed to get out more.

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I loved doing magic tricks and once gave a performance to my class, maybe third grade. One of the tricks was the "multiplying rabbits" where I had two small rabbit shaped sponges, had an audience member hold them in his fist, and when he opened them there were many more little sponge bunnies. Upon this, I naively joked "I wonder what they were doing in there." The boys laughed devilishly.

The teacher later called me into the hall and told me that he enjoyed my show, but to remove that line from my patter.

The Great Shepardo
"The Great Shepardo"







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